Ladies, it can sometimes be hard to tell the difference between a controlling boyfriend and a boyfriend who just loves you so much that he’d do anything to be with you. In the haze of love, we may sometimes see controlling behavior as a sign of love. But if you see the following red flags in your relationship with your guy, you’d better watch out, as you may be dealing with a control freak.
#1 Complaints, complaints, complaints.
No one wants to be on the receiving end of complaints. Do you constantly receive complaints from your guy about everything from what you wear, who your friends are, what you like to read or what you do at work? If he does, then he probably already knows that when you get sick and tired of his complaints, you’ll eventually change these things so he’d stop complaining to you.
Of course, at first, you may think that he’s just looking out for you. But later on, you may realize that he’s complaining for selfish reasons, and he’s just doing that to make you change. Sneaky, isn’t it?
Abusive behavior in relationships can take many different shapes, and one is no worse than the other. There is physical abuse, emotional, verbal, economic, mental, and s3xual. If you are dating a guy who abuses you in any of these ways, it’s obvious he is controlling you, and that you are in a very unhealthy, unstable, toxic relationship.
You should never be with a guy who makes you afraid or ashamed. If you fear you are in an abusive relationship, it’s time to seek help and get out of the relationship before things get worse.
#3 Dresses you.
There are guys who are keen on giving you constructive feedback on the clothes you wear. Some guys may not like it when you’re wearing a revealing top, but only because he knows that you might get a nip slip when you’re out dancing and partying. But the difference between a guy who looks out for you and a controlling boyfriend is the attitude.
A guy who genuinely cares about you will gently remind you that a top like that can easily have a wardrobe malfunction, and thus, he might suggest wearing a jacket or a different top. A controlling boyfriend, on the other hand, will adamantly insist that you change, leaving no room for argument.
#4 Makes you believe his jealously is just his way of caring.
It’s great to care about someone so much. When you’re in love, that’s what you do. You care about the other person even more than yourself. But when you’re in a healthy relationship, you don’t let your love for someone consume you to the point of going into a jealous fit!
Your boyfriend might be controlling you through his jealousy, and manipulating you to think that it’s just because he cares so much. If you’ve ever heard something like “I’m sorry I got mad when I saw you talking to that guy, it’s just because I care so much about you” then you are probably dating a guy whose jealousy consumes him to the point of putting a strain on your relationship.
Only you have the ability to teach people how you want to be treated. If you want to be treated with respect, then you have to stand up for yourself, even if it might seem nearly impossible.