My mom was a single mother because Dad turned his back on us when things became better. She struggled everyday to take care of us, hoping and believing that my dad will come back to his senses oneday.
After almost 7 years of suffering with 3kids alone, she decided to remarry because she was still young and beautiful. The man who was supposed to be our stepfather insisted that she must send us back to grandma in the village and be sending her supports, but mom refused.
I’ve been through alot for their sake and I’m used to all the bitterness in this world, I value their future and happiness more than my own happiness, if it’s not going to work without my kids in the Picture, let’s go our separate ways ” those were the words she kept saying. It didn’t work anyway because mom didn’t want to abandoned her kids because of marriage.
Life wasn’t fair at all. She was into many hustles: fishing, picking of periwinkles and cutting of big logs of wood from the river.
Somtimes she would go for 3 days in order to gather enough. She always paddled a big boat to convey those items from a very long distance to the coast.
was 14 years old about to clock 15 and before then I was used to taking care of my siblings and I with the supervision of some neighbours till she returned. On a certain day, she left and didn’t return. Alot of people confirmed her dead beacause she was a woman who never joke with her children , not to mention of abandoning them.
After mom disappearance, elder brother started misbehaving and keeping bad companies. He later followed some friends to another state without my knowledge.
One day, a guy in our neighborhood sent me on errand. When I came back, he mixed a tin of milk in a bottle of dry gin(one man squad) and force me to drink almost half of the contents. “I want to Open your eyes and make you tough because you are too soft” those were the words he said. I drank it not because I was unable to scream for help, but because I was at their mercy(my neighbours)
They were the ones taking care of my younger sibling and I. I was afraid to offend any of them lest they withdrew their support.
After taking the drink, I didn’t even know what happened again, all I could remember is that, I didn’t leave the guy’s room, he was playing a music on a high volume , l was on his bed struggling to get up but was so dizzy and weak.
He took advantage of me that night and robbed me of my purity. He even had the mine to lock me up in his room and later released me the following evening, threatening to kill me if I dare to tell anyone.
Some neighbours noticed my absence and were inquiring about my whereabouts, all I did was to 😢😢 😢. I couldn’t tell anyone because I was threatened.
A month after, neighbors started whispering “it’s like I’m pregnant ” some even asked about the last time I saw my flow but I couldn’t remember. I was throwing up and sleeping here and there like a sick cat. The one that confirmed everything was when a neighbor asked me to prepare boiled rice and keep for her 😫🙈👉👉
That day eh…I slept off that morning until the rice, including the pot turned to a burnt offering. Even when the house was almost on fire, I was busy eating ripe paw paw in the dream. A sound slap made the papaya to fall from my hand and brought me back to reality. That day, the woman volunteer to buy a PTT. Lo and behold I was pregnant.
The news of the pregnancy spreaded like a wild fire. Within 3 days the guy who defiled me rented a house in a very far distance and compel me to relocate with him.
I know I’m responsible for this, I’ll take care of you because it was my fault, you have to follow me to the new house if not, no other person will help you.
What did I even know??? Everyday was hell. He started having his way almost every night, wether I like it or not. Abuse, molestation and violence was the other of the day.
I had the baby when I was 16 and the baby was only 8 months when I took in again. “you must get rid of this, I only accepted the first one because It was my fault.” 💔
That was what he told me but I refused. I didn’t want to die while trying to abort the baby. He threw us out, lock the door and disappeared. All thanks to our landlady and our church members who assisted me then.
He finally came back after 5 months and I went back to the house.
I had the second child at the age of 17. Let me not tell you everything I went through in his hands, all I know is that I went through hell and came back.
The day he almost killed me was when he beat me until I miscarried the third pregnancy.
I was growing up and building myself. The situation I went through was making me to think ahead. I was hustling like mad and saving up some money.
2010/2011, I wrote waec and jamb, got admitted into the polytechnic to study
It was as if he was sent from the pit of hell to ruin my life, he tried all he could to stop me from pushing forward with my dreams but God pass am.
He threw me out and I left without looking back. He restricted me from having access to my children, telling me that if I really care about them, that I should return back to him but I jump and pass
😂😂😂😂 I can never go back to pharoah.
When he realized that he’ll never have me back, he transferred all the aggressions on the kids. Last year November, they secretly ran away from his house when he traveled and came to me.
He sued me to court saying that I abandoned the kids when they were still babies and I later kidnapped them when he traveled. 😀😀😀 my God is too big for him to face.
The kids are with me and we are still on the matter. When they were with him, they were looking like skolombo but now eh, they are looking so fresh and cute.
I had my first child 2008 and she’ll be 11 years old by April.
I had the second one 2009 n he will clock 10 years by September.
Some women are single mothers by circumstance and fate, not because they were misbehaving.
Sometimes fate takes us through the path we will never chose to cross.
Any good woman will always be protective of her children because they are the proof of all the battle she has won.
Some of them have been battered and shattered and the only source of happiness is her children.
So if you know that your intentions are not genuine please don’t cross their path.
If you are not ready to accept her completely, please look else where.
Don’t expect a responsible woman to abandon her kids for your sake, cos it won’t work.
Single motherhood is not a crime, so don’t criticized them.
Some single mothers are survivors, hardworking and productive, so your money does not mean anything to them 🙌
Some of them go into another relationship not because they need assistance but because they want to love and be loved, they want to feel that affection and they want to smile.
When you see a single mom who’s afraid of relationship, know that she’s been shattered and broken. She may feel within her that nothing is left but when love leads, you’ll give her every reason to believe in love and you’ll be so lucky to have her in your life.
To my fellow single mothers 😍😍😍😍
Na pikin we born, we no kill person.
Abeg, don’t place your children’s future on another man.
Shake off the dust
Put your head up
Go for it but
Follow your dreams
Fight for it untill you win.
Much 😍 from me.